Moving Home
To Mom & Dad’s
First things first, how the heck are you? What’s new and exciting? I type that just as much to you as I do myself and this long lost newsletter. It’s been over a year since I’ve sat down to write anything and I’d be lying if I said the ol’ eyes weren’t burning at the thought. But. This is about us. About where we are now and where we’re going. Now why don’t we grab a cup of coffee and catch up, shall we?
Are you good at New Years Resolutions? Are you the person who picks a ‘theme’ for their year? If you are please share your tricks. Because boy do I suck at it. I’ve spent years breaking promises to myself then spinning around in the guilt and shame of lost potential and the woulda coulda shoulda’s of life. For example,
The lie: “I’ll be here 2 years tops then I’m moving to New York.”
The truth: Going on 11 years.
The lie: “I’m going to be an actor.”
The truth: No you’re not.
The lie: “This will be a great resume builder.”
The truth: Maybe, but your mental and physical health will hit an all time low and you’ll spend years repairing the damage.
The lie: “If I just ____ then it’ll be good.”
The truth: Nothing in that blank will ever fill whatever it is you’re trying to fill. Only you can. And plot twist, it’s already full. You’re already full. And the work is in realizing that.
And it’s okay if these things we tell ourselves change! You never know who or what will come into your life and alter our so-called “plans.” That’s what makes life exciting. But what isn’t exciting is spending your life waiting for your life to begin or dwelling on what has or has not happened. It’s a new year and new month and a new minute. And that’s a new opportunity to make a change.
Here’s the tea. Or coffee, if you’re like me. The coffee is I was fired from my job shortly after Thanksgiving and it will forever be the best thing that could have happened to me. I roll my eyes even typing that because it’s so cliche. But the truth is I took this position from a place of desperation and because it sounded so good on paper I said yes even though a tiny voice in my head, let’s call her Intuition, was saying otherwise.
But this isn’t about a job. It never is. We’ve all had jobs we’ve loved or tolerated or people we’ve worked for that were great or were actually Satan. The point is my decision - mine not anyone else’s - was not in alignment with who I am and who I want to me. I’ve been ignoring my intuition for a long time and it has taken a lot of time to get that little voice back from the dark place I kept brushing her under.
“One day the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But the person you become in learning to get over it? That will stay with you forever. And that is the point of the mountain.”
To bring this back to resolutions, I suppose you could say 2023 for me is about following through with my promises and making sure each one is in 100% alignment with my Intuition. I refuse to go one more day doing anything that isn’t getting me where I want to go and the what I want to feel.
You know what feels in alignment with my Intuition? Coaching again at Orangetheory. Typing away right now. Cleaning out and purging my old apartment. And by extension, the old me. The thought of moving home for awhile. Knowing I will then be moving out of Ohio because that is a promise I cannot and will not keep breaking to myself.
And as cheesy at it is, what has felt the most in alignment with the real me is being around the people who know me best. It’s the ones I talk to every day. The ones I’ve watched get married. Never underestimate the power of someone who knows you really well. They’ll be able to see right through you and know if or when you’ve brushed Intuition under the rug too far for too long. And it’s our jobs to listen to them, and then return the favor.
Here’s to moving in with Mom and Dad and everything 2023 has to offer.
