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Saying No

In order to say Yes

For those that are always “getting back on track.”

I was talking with a friend of mine about will power and self control. And how at the end of the day those thoughts of “I just can’t seem to…” or “if only this….” or “well when this happens then…” are utter bullshit and easy excuses to stop you from doing what you know you should be doing.

We talked for a long time about wanting healthy habits and healthy intuitive eating to just be life. And why why oh why can’t I just wake up and make all the right decisions that day? Meaning saying no to candy and yes to a damn apple.

Listen.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again until I die. Discipline. Discipline is it. And only it. It’s discipline.

One more time for the people rolling their eyes in the back. It’s DISCIPLINE.

No one cane make you do anything.

You want to know how some people are able to just wake up and not eat like an idiot that day? You want to know how those same people get their ass out of bed by 5am because it’s their only hour to work out? No they don’t just have some magic-it’s-easy-for-them-their-different solution. Those people put in the work day in and day out for days and weeks and years. Until one day it became life.

Days. Weeks. Months. Years.

And yes, a bad day will hit. Yes, cake will be had and pizza ordered. Yes, a workout will be missed. But those people got up the next day, got their workout in, eat the good foods, and got right back to work.

No one told them to do it.

“How do you have such self control?”

A: I don’t, but I’ve worked too hard and enjoy feeling my best so I’m going to keep on keeping on. And I know what not having self control feels like. And I’ve put in enough work to know when it’s worth letting go and when it’s worth saying no.

“Where do you get your discipline?”

A: Years of practice. And from no where other than my own head. No one will do the work for you.

“How do you stay motivated?”

A: See above. I want to live long and live fully. I want to be able to chase my kids and be a monster in the gym for years to come.

“How do you find balance?”

A: Everything in my life overlaps. There’s no on or off switch for anything. I approach work how I approach life. To a fault. I know I need to pull back sometimes, but with practice I’ve recognized when saying no is the right thing to do or if saying no is the anal Type A thing to do. And try to adjust from there.

But I want to keep this in the aspect of living a healthy life.

For those that find themselves starting over every other Monday, or those that let the “I just can’t..” thoughts flood their heads, saying no in order to say yes to something else is powerful. The first time you say no to something you know isn’t aligned with your goals and the way you want to feel will give you that much more power over your outcome.

Saying no to just one more drink means I’m saying yes to sleep and a more productive morning.

Saying no to cookies that showed up at work means I’m saying yes to the meal I had already to go out and get with my friend.

Sure you can say yes to it all. But in the early stages of trying to make these habits into life, saying no is okay. Say no so that you can say yes later and feel good about it.

If it’s that important to you, if creating better habits and getting to that enviable place of finally it’s just life is something you strive for, then figure out what in your life (and who) you need to say no to so that you can say yes to something else.

Remind yourself why. Remind yourself what’s more important to you.

And sure, one day you’ll be in a place of okay, I’m going to say yes to this because it’s worth it. But if we say yes to all the unhealthy things right now it will literally keep feeding (pun intended) the constant need to reset and start fresh.

Say no now so you can say yes to something more fulfilling later.

 

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